I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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