i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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