Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
