: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
