but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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