Who wears a wallet chain?!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
