I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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