I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize