grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
