Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
