woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm passing your future prison.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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