It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
