apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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