singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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