It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
