I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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