everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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