just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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