I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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