oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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