Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
