Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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