yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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