remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
