he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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