I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
