sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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