I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
