the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
