He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
