I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
