spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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