Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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