Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Please, let me fuck your mom
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
