If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
