so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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