It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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