So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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