Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize