dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
