he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize