She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
