I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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