He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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