I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
