Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
