its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You're like the curious george of whores
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
