have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
