So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
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I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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