hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
