im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
