"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
