You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize