they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
