Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
