plz talk dirty to me
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
