I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
