so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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