i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
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